New Year's resolutions you're guaranteed to keep

Grace Fendrick
Features Editor

The holidays are here, as well as the guilty realization that you did not keep any of last year’s New Year’s resolutions. Instead of trying the same old thing this year, why not try something different. The following list is designed for those who are tired of failing to keep their resolutions, so, give some of these guaranteed to keep resolutions a try. 

• Get back out there and start dating again- A significant other will magically transform your life into a fairy tale.
• Forget friends, focus on yourself- Nothing quite beats the feeling of accomplishment after finishing an entire season of a Netflix show in one day.
• Join a gym- You will feel so much better about yourself when you see your gym card while paying for your weekly half-gallon of ice cream from the store.
• Eat healthy- The switch from Moe’s to Chipotle will have an extremely positive effect on your long-term health.
• Learn a new skill- Being able to lick your elbow, make fart noises with your arm, and yodeling will present many great opportunities in your life.
• Be a nicer person- Instead of “if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all,” lie to your peers about how pretty and awesome they are.
• Get organized- Clothes shouldn't be covering all the floors in your room, just stuff them in the bottom of your closet instead.

Even small things can be great resolutions:

• Walk on the correct side- Many people are unaware that Apex, N.C. is in America, which means you walk on the right side. This prevents parties walking opposite directions from running into each other, and this also applies to doorways (double doors are made for a reason).
• Earn more money- Working a minimum wage job is normal for most high school students, but if you really want to make money start an online store where you can sell your own creations. Who doesn't want to buy a macaroni jewelry set?
• Try to be more humble- Instead of posting a picture to Instagram with the caption, “I felt pretty today *heart emoji*”, you should post a picture of your dog saying, “Gosh I wish I was as cute as her.”

In all seriousness however, New Year’s resolutions can be very beneficial. They can also be a complete disaster. In order to prevent this outcome try to set small reasonable goals. Realize that your habits and attitude will not change overnight and you will have to work hard to carry out your resolution.